Sex Before Marriage
Ladies, let’s talk about something a lot of people are avoiding these days. How having sex before marriage is actually hurting your chance of getting married.
It’s not a popular topic and I know that the ‘women’s rights’ people will probably send me nasty letters. But, when I started this site, I promised myself and my readers that I would give them HONEST ANSWERS!
And the truth is that every time you have sex outside of marriage, you’re reducing your chances of getting married.
It should be enough that God told us to keep the marriage bed sacred and that any sex outside of marriage is considered fornication – Not Self Expression.
But you already know that. You know the rules, but they’re really hard to follow. Because sex is just so good. Our desires are STRONG!
And there’s a really common unspoken belief that if you’ve already lost your virginity, there’s no point trying to close the door now.
Here’s a great reason you should establish some really clear boundaries around sex before marriage. And it’s coming from science.
I love it when scientists realize God was right all along.
Here’s the truth…
Men are less likely to marry a woman they perceive to be promiscuous.
How do they perceive this? Based on whether or not you’ll sleep with them.
Is that fair? No. But it’s reality.
We put so much effort into making a good first impression. And ladies, we spend absurd amounts of money trying to get this right. From the hair, nails, makeup, stylish outfits and cute shoes. We want a man to know that we’re healthy enthusiastic and robust.
Of course, this is great for attracting guys, because they love ‘the girlfriend’ experience. For them, it’s a lot of fun to have a pretty girl by your side who will be there matching you shot for shot, dancing, having a blast and experiencing life. Girlfriends are great! They don’t complain about your bad habits, they indulge in them with you.
But that’s not the kind of girl he can take home to his mother.
And that’s not what he is looking for when he’s thinking about a woman who could be the mother of his children.
Obviously, this is a double standard, and honestly, you don’t want to be dating this kind of guy anyways.
But we need to acknowledge that this is what the dating world is like these days.
So what do men consider to be marriage material?
Check out This Q&A Monday for the details.
In short, they want paternal certainty.
He wants to know that your kids are his kids.
Science has shown us that this is the number one reason cultures around the world value modesty and frowns upon promiscuity.
When women depend more on men to provide resources for their children (paternal investment), then mothers and fathers both have greater interest in ensuring that fathers can identify their own children and thus deliver on this investment. Because promiscuity undermines paternity certainty – Micheal E. Price –The Surprising Source of Our Sexual Morals
If you’re really interested in finding a man to marry you then I’ve created a course that gets deep down into the nitty gritty details of this stuff.
Right now I’ll tell you that:
- Even though men push for sex, they’re testing to see if the lock is secure.
- They’re looking for more than just a pretty face.
- There’s incredible power in patience and being able to wait.
1. Men Want Sex Before Marriage
No surprise here. And they will use every line in the book to try and get it. Even if they’re a really nice guy. Even if they say they respect your boundaries, even if they go to church and believe in God. They’re going to try and test the lock.
After all, What’s the point of a lock if anyone can open it?
It’s your job to then demonstrate whether or not the lock works.
I know that in today’s society it seems harder than ever to avoid sex before marriage.
To help you with that, I’ve written a quick little ebook for you and it’s totally free.
Just let me know where to send it.
[Free eBook] 5 Things Men Say To Get You Into Bed
This little ebook is packed full of quick comebacks to use in those tricky situations when things are getting intense and it's hard to say no.
It's yours for free, so grab it NOW
2. More Than Just A Pretty Face
When a guy is really checking you out, he’s looking at more than your pretty face and your butt.
If he’s really interested he’s going to go see what your social media is saying about you.
Which shouldn’t surprise you, because we all go creeping from time to time.
But what might surprise you is that even though he is liking your selfies and he added you as a friend, he might stop talking to you in real life because of what your social media is saying about you.
A guy who is interested in marriage is not interested in having a girl who is self-obsessed or dangling off of other men in every other picture. He also won’t want to see a lot of drama happening in your online world.
That’s why I’ve gone into great detail teaching on the topic of Soul Ties. Because one of the problems I see a lot of people get into is not being able to get over their past. Especially past relationships.
If you want to learn more about soul ties this is the best post to start with >>>
3. The Power in Waiting
A man worth marrying is on the lookout for a woman who demonstrates consistency and integrity.
Most men won’t come right out and say this. They’ll just stop calling.
They also do a lot of this processing subconsciously.
So even though men push for sex, crave it, and whine if they don’t get it. Even though they will try every trick in the book, they’re really looking for a woman who is confident enough in herself to put up firm boundaries.
It’s not easy.
Because of course they love picking every lock along the way, but when they find one that they can’t crack, that makes them really stop and take notice.
So stop believing the myth that in today’s society nobody waits to get married before having sex.
I know it’s rare, but it’s extraordinarily powerful and has major payoffs.
Plus, how much better is it to know you’re living your life according to the will of God. That you’re surrendering your immediate desires and crucifying the flesh (I know those aren’t fun words to use, but that’s what it takes).
Your social media, the way you present yourself, and the way you deal with your past tell a man a lot about you. And if he’s really interested in you, that’s where he’s going to go to do some more research.
Now, I know that this is a lot to sort through on your own.
No one teaches you how to keep a man interested without sex. Especially when the common logic is;
“Well, you wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first, would you?”
Listen, Ladies! You Are Not A Shoe!!!
So stop getting stepped on!
(Men, if you’re reading this, I hope you’ll leave a comment below and back me up!)
There’s so much more than I want to share with you on this that goes way beyond the scope of a blog post.
That’s why I’ve created Ready For The One. An essential course for single women who have a strong desire to enjoy a Godly marriage.
If you’re tired of dating.
Or you’re having trouble attracting the right man.
If you want to go from being invisible to irresistible in the eyes of a man who would make a great husband.
And if you’re ready to come into agreement with the word of God, and stop having sex before marriage.
It will totally transform the way you see yourself and the way quality men see and treat you.
If you have a friend or family member that needs to read this, I hope you will take a moment and share it with them.
God Bless You!