“Where do you see this relationship going?”
It’s an important question to ask and an essential conversation.
But we’re usually scared of what we will hear..
Especially if you’ve been dating for a while.
Things are going well. You have fun together. You like each other. He even invited you over to his mother’s house for dinner.
Why rock the boat?
But unless you know whether you’re preparing to enter into a covenant marriage, you’ll default into being his one true girlfriend forever.
So, you have to ask the tough questions so that you can date with purpose and go from casual to committed in a way that honors God.
Dating with purpose.
First of all, let me say that t
You should begin by asking yourself; “Self, where do you see this relationship going?”
Often those answers are there in our heart.
And, we should take the time to listen.
Because, despite your best intention to share the word of God with someone you’re fond of, there are those who are never going to share your beliefs- and you know it.
And when that’s the case. it’s best to move on quickly before you get too attached.
Here’s the thing, b
That means, that while it’s okay to meet people who may not share your faith, you should not pursue a romantic relationship with those who are clearly not going to honor God with you.
2 Corinthians 6:15
“What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?”
Now, I know that the Bible says:
1 Corinthians 7:13
If a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
I hope you can discern the difference.
If you are married, AND THEN you become a Christian, and your spouse isn’t, don’t get a divorce.
But If you are a single Christian, looking for a husband, then you should marry someone who shares your faith.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”2 Corinthians 6:14
If you know
The results are never good. Men do not want to be manipulated or forced into a relationship. Not with you, or another woman or with God. Men want to choose freely and will come to resent those who use manipulative tactics to get what they want.
However, I also believe that pretty ladies like yourself have lead more men to Christ than Billy Graham.
The difference is how and when you do it.
Do you start by letting someone see you as a child of God, who is full of faith and has a fervent prayer life and is enthusiastic about being involved in Church and ministry?
… Do you act like the world; meeting men in clubs or bars, half-naked, “falling in lust” and when they wake up in your bed on Sunday morning, attempting to drag them to church with you?
As pastors, we see the second one A LOT!!!
Where do you see this relationship going?
An Essential Conversation.
You can’t avoid this conversation.
One of the biggest mistakes Christian Women make when dating is not being crystal clear about their expectations.
There’s nothing wrong with asking “what do you want in a relationship right now? Where do you see this relationship going?.
In my course, Ready For The One, I teach you how to ask these questions tactfully, in a way that encourages positive, authentic conversations and don’t make a man high tail it out of the restaurant.
But, if you’re on a first date, and the guy says “I’m never going to get married, I just can’t see myself chained down to one woman for the rest of my life” BELIEVE HIM!!!If you're on a first date, and the guy says "I'm never going to get married, I just can't see myself chained down to one woman for the rest of my life" BELIEVE HIM!!! Click To Tweet
Do you really think that you’ll be the special exception to the rule, or that you’re going to change him???
Kindly take yourself home and try again with someone else.
What if it’s too late?
Ok, maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “hmmm, I might have started off on the wrong foot, is there any way to save this?”
Or, maybe you’re thinking, that because you’ve already slept that now you have to marry him or God will be angry, or no one else will want you.
Let me say this: Just because you slept with him, doesn’t mean you should marry him. Marriage is too serious a covenant to try and use it to cover up a mistake.
What you should do is repent. And stop sleeping with him.
I know that’s hard, especially when we get so far in over our heads. What do you do if you’re already pregnant, or have kids? Is it too late?
When you are dealing with those issues, it’s best to talk with your pastor because they will be able to give you personalized advice.
But as a general rule of thumb:
Don’t use a lack of money to justify living in sin.
We often hear how it is too expensive to do the right thing. But trust me when I say this, that although it might be a financial challenge, it’s always worth it to be obedient to God.
If you know you’re doing something wrong. FIX IT!
Better to suffer a little bit now and get things in order, then to try and justify your sin before God.
What if my Boyfriend doesn’t want to get married.
If you ask your boyfriend “where do you see this relationship going?” and you don’t get the response you were hoping for, that’s important information to know.
Better to make a bold move and get out of a useless relationship and to live according to your faith. This question will quickly eliminate the men who are never going to be capable of fulfilling their role as a covenant husband.
And that’s a good thing!
In order to have a covenant marriage, You, God and the man, have to be in agreement. And it’s always best to start by being in agreement with God. When you try to force God to bless something that you came up with on your own, it doesn’t work.
So, if you need to, don’t be afraid to start again.
Even if he is really handsome, and you’ve got some beautiful memories, and his mom is really nice. It’s better to work towards a solid future that pleases God than to cling to memories.
And, when you end a sexual relationship, don’t forget to break those ungodly soul ties.
Every sexual relationship outside of marriage has soul ties, and they need to be dealt with so that you can move forward and pursue a healthy, God-centered, relationship.
Was this advice hard to hear?
Do you need to make some changes to honor God and get the love you really want?
Let me know in the comments below.
Share as much detail as you can, you’re story and ideas help encourage and support other women just like you who come here looking for honest answers and Biblical advice. It really helps them to know that they’re not alone.
Whether you’re deep into a relationship or just keeping things casual don’t settle for anything less than what God wants for you!
Be prepared to ask the tough questions;
- Where do you see this relationship going?
- How do yo feel about marriage?
- What do you believe about God and Jesus?
- Who is Jesus to you?
Asking these essential questions will help you avoid so much pain and heartache.
You are God’s beautiful creation and He loves you dearly.
Don’t allow your feelings for someone to sabotage God’s eternal plans for you. You’re too valuable and precious.
And don’t be afraid that leaving a relationship means that you’ll be alone forever. I fully believe that if you have the desire in your heart to be someone’s wife, God has someone for you.
That is a God-given desire, and it’s never too late.
He knows your needs and He is a faithful provider.
You do your part and let Him do His.