Imagination doesn’t sound important to most couples, but it’s the secret to success in my marriage.
There are so many things that go into making a marriage work.
But today I want to share why imagination is
There’s nothing special about us. We go through the same frustration and trouble as everyone else. Finances, family, church drama, late nights, early mornings. We deal with them too.
But there’s something that I have personally learned to do to keep from sabotaging the greatest blessings in my life.But there's something that I have personally learned to do to keep from sabotaging the greatest blessings in my life. Click To Tweet
And it’s something that anyone can do.
I cast down every evil imagination.
The Bible tells us;
2 Corinthians 10:5
“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
To me, this is essential in marriage.
Because, more often than not, I make up arguments in my head.
If I’m being honest, I have had countless imaginary arguments with my husband on everything from how to load the dishwasher, how to spend money and how to buy clothes for our girls.
Sometimes, those conversations need to be had.
But usually I have gotten an idea in my head and will play it over and over again until it drives me crazy.
For example; One time my husband was traveling and he wasn’t able to call when expected. Immediately my mind jumped to the worst-case scenario.
All the possibilities that could have prevented him from calling began to swirl in my mind. And Satan wastes no time planting a few extra ideas in there too. Ideas that are painful but irresistible. Like when you’ve got a canker sore in your mouth and you can’t leave it alone.
I imagined the plane crashed, the car drove off the road, a hurricane hit or a bomb had gone off.
And when I was done imagining that he’d died, a more devious thought entered my mind.
He’s with another woman.
Oh, the games the devil will play in our minds.
To think that my husband would travel across the world for a hook up is not only absurd but also hurtful to our marriage.
And of course there are some men who will do that.
But my husband isn’t one of them.
How do I know?
Maybe you’re asking yourself, sure Lily, that’s nice for you, but how do you know?
The truth is I don’t. But I chose to believe that my husband is not a compulsive and irresponsible liar.
He has never given me any reason to believe that he would do something like that, and to assume he would, is a waste of my time.
Of course when we did talk the reason he hadn’t called was simple. His phone had died and he hadn’t had a chance to charge it.
Now, we all get into situations where our imaginations run wild. And I honestly believe that a big part of those ideas are based on what we feed our minds.
If we watch a lot of T.V where people are having affairs it will be easy for a minds to picture similar scenarios. If we watch a lot of crime scene investigations we will be extra nervous about taking out the trash at night.
But as Christians we are called to discern between what is real and what is imagined.
The correct use for our imagination is to meditate on God, and upon His divine will.
When we use our imagination for good, we move into the position of visionary. Creating a future in which God’s will is done here on earth.
However, when we spend our time imagining a zombie Apocalypse, we are wasting our mental resources and creating space for a future of fear and chaos.
And in our marriages, we can either use our imaginations to come into agreement with what we choose to believe about our spouse, our selves and the relationship. Or we can tell ourselves stories that turn us into the hero and our husbands into the bad guy.
Because our minds love a good story.
But they also want a simple one.
A story in which there’s a good guy, usually ourselves or someone we can trust, and a bad guy who we can blame.
The secret to success in my marriage is that I have learned to pay attention and avoid turning my husband into the bad guy.
This is not easy. Because the truth is that when something goes wrong, I want to find the reason as quickly as possible. And I want to assign blame. And usually, upon first glance, my husband looks like an easy candidate.
But if and when I’m willing to pay attention and slow down I can make better decisions. I can protect the sacredness of our marriage and I can turn to my husband as a friend and ally instead of an instigator and culprit.
This is a choice that I have had to learn to make over the years.
And I don’t always get it right.
But at least now, I can recognize what I am doing and stop destructive thought patterns before they are expressed through accusations.
Now, when one of these stories are running wild in my head I am able to take them to the throne of God and caste them down.
Sometimes it’s necessary to bring them to my husband and tell him;
“This is the story I’m telling myself.”
That’s not always easy to do, but it does have a way of bringing light into darkness and stopping crazy thoughts in their tracks.
So whether you’re married or not, I know there are people in your life who would be blessed if you would learn to take those nasty thoughts captive.
Don’t let wild assumptions ruin your day.
Got a story about a time when your imagination got away on you?
Or a way you keep your mind from wondering?
I’d love to hear it.
Share it in the comments below.