Single Christian women want to know one thing: How to get a boyfriend.
You’re praying and fasting and waiting on the Lord to send your Boaz. But all you see are empty fields.You're praying and fasting and waiting on the Lord to send your Boaz. But all you see are empty fields. Click To Tweet
Where is he? And what is holding him up?
You’re looking for a quality Christian man who will lead you and your household closer to God. You know the importance of waiting for the right one because the last thing you want is to find yourself in an unequally yoked marriage.
The good news is; you don’t have to settle.
You can, and will find a boyfriend who has true potential as a husband, but it takes a little time, patience and effort on your part.
Let’s talk about the seven secrets you need to know to find a boyfriend who is everything you want in a man.
How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret #1: Know Your Value
A wife of noble character who can find?Proverbs 31:10-12
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
A good honest woman like you, is hard to find.
The Bible says that you are as unique and valuable as rubies, the rarest of the gemstones.
So before you go on a quest to find the man of your dream. You’ve got to do some soul searching and remember how truly wonderful you are.
You’re fearfully and wonderfully made.
The right man is going to see that and get excited by it. But you need to begin by knowing what is wonderful about you!
Here is a short prayer that you should be using regularly;
Your true value comes from God. He knows who you are, what you’re capable of, and the purpose for which He created you.
Always be in the habit of asking Him to reveal more of that information to you. Learn to receive it. Embrace it. And Express it.
How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret #2: Confidence in the Lord
Men are attracted to confident women.
And the most confident women get their confidence in knowing who they are in Christ Jesus. That kind of confidence is UNSHAKABLE.The most confident women get their confidence in knowing who they are in Christ Jesus. That kind of confidence is UNSHAKABLE. Click To Tweet
When you remember that the Lord, is sovereign, mighty and in control, you can let go of doubt, fear and anxiety.
You are not finding the love of your life on your own. God know’s who he is and where he is. Confidence in the Lord is going out each day believing in the possibility that God has placed him right around the next corner.
This kind of confidence in the Lord, will reflect back upon you as confidence in yourself.
And once again, men love and look for confident women.
So don’t hide your relationship with God. Let your light shine. Be on fire for Jesus and trust that God is working all things for your good to bring you into a relationship with the one He created to love and honor Him with you.
How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret #3: Be Patient
I know that when your looking for love and trying to find a boyfriend, it feels like time is against you.
Here I was talking with a young woman the other day, and she was shocked to hear that I am also coaching a twice-widowed woman in her late sixties who is actively seeking a husband.
Young people tend to think that it’s now or never.
And so, they also tend to select people based on who they are right now. They look for certain characteristics that are just vanity metrics.
When I ask women what kind of a man they are attracted to; the answer is usually;
Tall, Dark, and Handsome.
They’re focused on the outer appearance.
Of course, I would never suggest that you marry someone you find repulsive. However, I have found that women are often just as bad, if not worse when it comes to judging people based on appearances.
The look for someone who is extremely sexually attractive. Get carried away by their fluttering heart, have sex and find out he is a horrible partner. But then, they don’t leave, because she is now emotionally attached and she has won the approval of her female friends.
THAT’S SO DESTRUCTIVE!
But when you are willing to be patient.
When you’re not in a rush.
Time is actually on your side.
Instead, you can create a space in which a man can honestly reveal his true character.
And of equal importance, you won’t come off as needy and desperate.
Because, when you’re in a rush men know. And since you’re not taking the time to discern the will of God in the situation, it’s easy for the wrong guy to take advantage of that desperation.
So if he is a player, you’ll get used.
And if he is a genuine good guy, who would make a great husband, you’ll freak him out.
The truth is; good men
They’re looking for a woman who is #wifeymaterial
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I dependable?
- Can I manage time well?
- Are my finances in order?
- Do I have a good work ethic?
- Am I good at finishing what I start?
Now is the time to work on yourself. Because Boaz is looking for Ruth. Not Delilah!Now is the time to work on yourself. Because Boaz is looking for Ruth. Not Delilah! Click To Tweet
Remember, this period of your life is temporary. So figure out how to make the most of it.
You’ve got to find that balance between learning to relax and keeping yourself busy. God’s timing is perfect. And He won’t lead you into marriage prematurely.
My Best Advice;
Use this time to get fat on the Lord.
Before I married my husband, there was about 6 months, where God strategically separated us.
Those first 2 of those months were probably the loneliest of my life!
I was just starting to really fall in love, and then he was gone.
Like 1500 miles apart!
It felt awful. I was confused, frustrated and annoyed with God.
But in the third month, I began to relax. I started to settle down and leaned into what God was trying to accomplish.
Here’s the thing. Back then, I had no idea that I would be ministering to people around the world. But God knew. And He knew I had a lot of work to do in order to be ready.
So, I began eating up Bible studies like fudge sundaes.
My appetite for scripture became insatiable. I got fat on the Lord.
For the next 3 months, it was just me and God. I worked night shifts and spent my hours highlighting and studying the word.
I learned to pray effectively and continually. Through
And then my love was back and we got married. YAY!!!
Now, the big part that I didn’t know was how challenging being a new mom really was.
Shortly after we were married, we planted a church, and I was pregnant.
No more fasting for me. And I didn’t have that same level of energy for Bible study that I had during my months of solitude.
I began living off the fat.
Let me tell you, cherish this period of your life. It is sacred.
It’s also fleeting. It will be over in the blink of an eye.
How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret #4: Live Life Abundantly
Jesus came that you might have life and have it more abundantly.
Not once you’re married, but right now!
Don’t be afraid to go out and do things on your own. Because honestly, you’ve got a better chance of running into your guy while you’re out enjoying life, than if you’re at home sulking on the couch.
Experience joy in your life right now.
- Join classes
- Start a business
- Get and stay active
- Take a missions trip
Because trust me, some of those things are a lot easier to do WITHOUT a baby on your hip.
You’ve got to stop believing the devil’s lie and thinking that your real life will begin after you’re married.
Instead, embrace the opportunities around you. Try new things. Learn what you love. Discover what inspires you. What gets you excited about life?
Don’t Be A Mirror.
Too many women try to become mirrors of the men they are interested in.
If he likes football, suddenly you do too.
He’s a jogger, you’ve got a new pair of Nikes
When he buys a new Batman t-shirt, you get the movie poster framed and installed in your living room.
Don’t be that girl.
It’s cute for moment, but it’s a disaster in the long run.
Because here’s how all of that plays out.
One day you wake up and he has baseball tickets and you don’t want to go.
He splurges on a camping trip, and you resent the fact that he’s trying to make you sleep on the ground.
You can’t build a healthy successful relationship trying to be someone you’re not.
Instead, take this time to cultivate your own joy. Discover your unique skills and abilities and then don’t be afraid to showcase them when someone interesting comes your way.
How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret # 5 Know that you’re not alone
We hate being along. It feels awful, And finding a boyfriend, getting married and filling the house with kids seems like a good way to avoid loneliness
But it’s not!
It’s scary how lonely you can feel in a house full of children, holding a baby and watching your husband watch tv. – Mama’s if you’re reading this please back me up in the comments below.
This is the best time of your life to confront the fear of being alone with the truth that you are always in the presence of the Lord.
God loves you now, as you are.
Don’t focus on finding Boaz, get busy in the fields of life and he will find you!Don't focus on finding Boaz, get busy in the fields of life and he will find you! Click To Tweet
How to Get a Boyfriend; Secret #6 Get Out In The Field.
As nice as it would be, God is not going to send your future husband to knock on your door while you’re at home hiding in your prayer closet.
You’re going to have to be brave and put yourself out there.
And this is hard, because you could get hurt.
But, unless you create opportunities for him to walk into your life, he never will.
Let’s be honest, you don’t know who he is or where you’ll meet him.
It could be in church, but it could also be on the airplane for a business trip. Or while volunteering, or parachuting or while you’re doing whatever you love doing.
He could be your friends brother, or the captain of the field soccer team.
But let me tell you an even deeper secret: Men notice women who are truly enjoying themselves.
So stop wasting time on Christian mingle, tinder or any of those apps.
Go out there and enjoy yourself and let someone notice your gorgeous smile in cooking class.
Make sure you’re ready for those opportunities
- Get dressed up when you leave the house
- Accept compliments
- Let someone hold the door for you
Keep your eyes open and be sensitive to those around you.
How to Get a Boyfriend: Secret #7: Be open to Who You Meet.
I know that you want to find a Christian man of God, who is a prayer warrior and puts the Word of God above everything else.
But honestly; it’s Lovely women like yourself who have
If you are confident in your relationship with God, it’s okay to invite someone along to experience that relationship too.
He might be a heathen, a Muslim, a Buddhist or a nerdy atheist scientist.
Now, I’m not saying you should marry a heathen, Muslim or nerdy atheist scientist, but that doesn’t mean you should never talk to one for fear of getting into an unequally yoked marriage.
This isn’t an over night process.
And you’re not getting married tomorrow.
If you have followed the first six secrets and you’re clear on your boundaries then you are free to broaden your horizons.
Because the right man will follow you to the foot of the cross.
Bonus Secret: Wait to Have Sex
This is so important! Too often we get overwhelmed in the early stages of a relationship and try to hold onto it in any way we can.
Having sex before marriage will change the dynamics of your relationship.
It will cause him to believe that he no longer has to nurture the relationship. Because, he has won the conquest.
Also, you will be more reluctant to end the relationship if it’s not in alignment with what you want for marriage because you’re too emotionally invested.
Sex really does cloud your vision.
It causes us ladies to ignore Red Flags.
So don’t plan dates to each others house.
No movie nights on the couch.
When he starts to push for sex, be very clear that you are saving sex for marriage. Here is a free eBook to help you do that
You don’t have to lead with that during your first date, but as soon as things get serious enough to begin moving in that direction, you’ve got to be crystal clear and set firm boundaries
I don’t believe that it is a sin to kiss before marriage, but they need to be short and sweet! – Learn exactly where to draw the line here
You’re inviting trouble if it goes beyond that.
Focus on the fact that when you do have sex, on your wedding night, it will be amazing! And don’t be shy about letting him know how important that is to you.
The true Christian woman’s secret on how to find a boyfriend is this; create a life for yourself that he will want to be a part of.
If you want a marriage and children, I don’t believe that God is going to deny you that.
He knows the desires of you heart.
He planted that hope and dream in you.
That doesn’t mean that every Christian woman Must Get Married.
There are some women out there that simply don’t have that desire.
But for those who do, your man is out there.
You should wake up everyday full of joy and excitement about finding him.
Song of songs talks about how she looked for her love and found him.
Keep your eyes open.
Don’t pout because it hasn’t happened yet.
When it seems like everyone else is getting married and having babies, don’t start asking “what’s wrong with me”. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.Don't ask "what's wrong with me". Remember, you're fearfully and wonderfully made. Click To Tweet
Also, don’t compare what you’ve got to what you see. The truth is, you might be jealous of your best friend is married to the worship leader at church and he is secretly cheating on her.
You just don’t know what’s going on behind other peoples closed doors.
So focus on building something that is real and pure for you!
You won’t be a single Christian woman seeking her Boaz forever. And there are things you can do now that you won’t be able to do once you’re married. And a small part of you might miss those things a little bit. So enjoy them now in this season and build up good memories.
Got a Secret?
Now, I want to know if you have any other suggestions or secrets that Christian women need to know when looking for love.
I’d love it if you would share them in the comments below.
Your tip might be exactly what your sister in Christ needs to hear today.
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