Hey Pastor Lily
I just have a question about past relationships… do you ever get over that person that almost meant everything to you? I fear that I will never get over that ex. He was my first true love and it’s scary to have that kind of mindset 5 years after the breakup. I would really like you to address this issue..the break was easy but forgetting and moving on is what I can say I struggle with to this day.
Thank you again for taking the time to read this!
Yes, you can get over any past relationship.
But it does require effort on your part.
You can’t just expect to forget about him with time.
It’s hard because you said he was your “first true love”.
You probably experienced a lot of “firsts” with this guy.
First kiss, first dance, the first time you said I love you and meant it.
Those are significant moments but you need to let them go if you want to move on in life.
Because now Jesus is your first love and you can transfer All of that over to Him.
My favourite exercise for dealing with the memories is this…
When memories from a past relationship come up focus on them like they are a photograph.
Use your imagination to take that memory photo and let the blood of Jesus wash over it.
Then imagine that photo sinking to the bottom of the ocean and the memory and old feelings from that past relationship go with it.
Being forgotten. Covered by the blood.
Pray it through and let it go.
Because here’s the thing,
If God can forget than so can you.
The Bible tells us that God will remember our sins no more.
“For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.” – Jeremiah 31:34
It’s not hard to forget, we do it all the time.
We forget our keys, or where we left our phone. We can forget birthdays or deadline dates.
Most of those examples happen by accident. But can actually forget on purpose?
Can we forget painful memories or memories of past relationships?
Science tells us that we can.
Essentially, it explains that we remember things within a context.
For example, you remember your Ex in the context of a wonderful day in spring when you ran through a field of clovers and embraced each other passionately.
You forget about the argument on the way home in the car and that you didn’t talk to each other afterwards for two weeks.
However, you can use your mind to change the context by adding Jesus to the equation.
Either through the example above where you repeatedly cover the memory under an ocean of the blood of Christ.
Or, when the memory pops up, you can ask
“where was Jesus in that?”
Actually, try to get into the memory and with the eyes of your heart, take a look around and find Jesus in that memory. What was He doing, what was His reaction to that moment?
If there was sin in that moment, this is a great time to take it to Him and repent.
Now, normally forgetting things is a passive activity that happens gradually over time.
But if you keep thinking about a memory from a past relationship without changing the context of it, you won’t forget it. In fact, you will actually make it more prominent.
So, this is a way in which you can take back control of your memories and thoughts and actively change them.
The Bible tells us;
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
Don’t let your imagination run wild. Take it captive and force it to submit to Christ.
This allows you to move past it and progress in life.
In case you missed last weeks Q & A Getting over a broken heart. Check it out Here.
If you’d like to ask a question for Q & A Monday,
What do you do with unwanted memories from past relationships? I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.
God Bless You!