Hi Pastor Lily,
I’ve been dating the same guy for 3 years now, but he hasn’t proposed to me yet. I think the relationship is very serious and I’ve told him I want to get married. But whenever I bring up the topic and try to talk about it he finds a way to change the subject. I love him, he is a great guy, has an excellent job and I think he will make an excellent father. But, I hate that we’re living in sin. I just want to get married and correct this. How do I get him to propose?
Seriously tired of waiting,
I sorry to be the one to tell you this, but there’s no trick to getting him to propose. In fact, chances are that he won’t unless there’s some dramatic life change because it doesn’t sound like it’s a priority to him.
There’s no real incentive for him to marry you. It sounds like there’s no conviction in his heart that living in sin is wrong. He already knows that it’s important to you, but he doesn’t want to discuss it. That to me, speaks volumes!
Most men do not want to be in an intimate committed relationship without sex, which is why it’s important to wait until marriage. Because 99% of men will not play these kinds of head games when you’re serious about saving sex for marriage. They’re either going to commit, propose and marry you or their going to leave. A lot of women falsely believe that they need to have sex to secure a proposal, but that’s simply untrue.
As the old saying goes, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
You’re serious about this relationship because you’ve invested a lot of time and effort into it. You want to have kids and you’re scared of starting all over with someone new.
But let’s be honest, this guy isn’t going to marry you.
If he was at least willing to talk about marriage and begin planning for it with you, my answer would be different. But the fact that he tries to change the subject is simply passive aggressive tells that you shouldn’t expect a proposal anytime soon. That he is simply wasting your time.
You know what you want and you should go after it.
I’m going to assume you want more than just stability and a man with a good job. You want a partner for life. That means the ability to communicate about the important things clearly and honestly.
Let me tell you what makes a great Dad. Acting like a Dad before you have kids. Preparing for them by marrying their mother, creating a warm and loving home with its foundation built on a love for God.
It’s not about how cute he looks holding a baby.
Most men look irresistible when holding a baby.
You said you feel bad about living in sin. Try to fix it with a wedding isn’t going to do the trick. You’ve got to repent. Seek forgiveness and move out.
Do what you know is right. This might provoke him to take a second look when he sees you walking in integrity. But don’t stay at that level. Insist that you both do things at a higher level according to the will of God.
If the relationship fails that’s ok. The Bible never said we’re not allowed to fail. It’s our pride that keeps us from admitting that we’ve made a mistake.
Be stong. Stop waiting for him to propose and get out of this relationship.
Go to God and let him heal your broken heart and prepare yourself to try again.
That’s my Q to her A
I’d Love to Hear Your Opinions!
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below
God Bless You!
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