Ask these questions to yourself right now:
- Is there room for a little improvement in your marriage?
- Do you wish your husband would open up and talk with you?
- Are you wondering if your best friend disappeared forever when he became your husband?
Today I want to share my best tip for immediately improving your marriage.
It’s simple and beautiful and best of all, it works.
True Love Still
Because here’s the thing.
I know happy long lasting, good marriages still exists b
Call me an optimist, but I still believe in love and growing old together.
I saw my grandparents achieve it.
And I’m not discouraged by the fact that everybody in my family has been through a divorce.
It’s important to actively work on your marriage, because there’s always room for growth. Some times there are things you can do together, like what I’m about to share below. And sometimes there are things you can do on your own to dramatically improve the quality of your relationship.
But marriage is a challenge.
It’s a challenge, but I enjoy it. Kind of like running a marathon, it’s hard work but there’s something about getting to the finish line together that keeps you going. And there’s lots of lovely scenery along the way.
So let’s talk about one simple action that you can take today to improve your marriage.
Revive your curiosity about your spouse.
After you’ve been living together for a while it’s easy to think you know that person. You know their habits. You can finish each others sentences. But the truth is; there’s always more to learn.
You’re both changing. You learn new things all the time. The dreams and goals you had a few years ago, or even last week, can shift, be achieved or be forgotten. And as we move through life it’s important to take time to check in on one another.
Ask These questions:
So today, I want to challenge you.
Ask you’re husband one of these questions.
- What’s the number one thing that accomplished in the last year ( six months, week) that you’re the proudest of?
- Do you have a favorite mistake, something that taught you an important lesson?
- What dream or goal have you been neglecting, that you’re not ready to let go of? And how can you help?
THEN: (this is important)
SIT BACK AND LET HIM TALK!
People seem to think that women talk more than men, but when we are willing to listen properly, you’ll find he has a lot to say.
And if he’s not a talker, just wait.
Let there be a few minutes of awkward silence.
Men take time to come up with their answers. Especially to questions like these. They’re deep and real and take time. Don’t be afraid of the silence. He’s not ignoring you, he’s thinking.
Create Quiet T
So create some quiet alone time, pour yourselves a nice warm beverage and then talk.
Bonus points: Grab some lotion and give him a pedicure while you listen. He will relax and open up.
And when he thinks he’s done answering the question say this:
“Is there anything more you’d like to tell me about that?”
Remember, this isn’t the Spanish inquisition. You’re just listening, nodding and paying attention to the details of what he’s saying.
Don’t wait for your turn to talk. Don’t butt in or correct him on certain details. Just listen.
Creating space for someone else to talk and actively listening to them bare their soul is a great gift and one that a good wife will offer her husband over and over again.Creating space for someone else to talk while actively listening to them is a great gift and one that a good wife will offer her husband over and over again. Click To Tweet
When you’re done, just say “thank you for sharing that with me”
And get into bed together!
Be careful, this kind of talk can lead to