I don’t really feel like writing this week. What I’d really like to do is hide from my kids and nap for a day or two. I’d like to have someone I could call and vent to about how hard it is to be home alone, sick, and caring for two kids who are also sick. I’m embarrassed by how utterly annoyed I am with my older daughter for being so needy and I’m disappointed in myself for not being able to give her more of my attention and energy. I feel selfish because all I want to do is be able to read a book with out having her try to sit on my head.

I’ve always worked with kids, but I’ve only been a mother for 2 years and four months and I honestly didn’t think it was going to be this hard. I counselled moms who were struggling to get their kids to listen, and wondered what was so about it. I could get their kids to listen, why couldn’t they.

Now, I find my self looking at this beautiful feisty young girl who I grew with my own body, and stare at her with disbelief as to why on earth she continues to try to build block towers on top of her baby sister despite my every effort to teach her not to.

I had to check myself over ten times today and say to myself, I’m the adult!

Before I had kids, I wanted to raise them without TV. Now, I’m practically begging her to please just sit and watch Paw Patrol for a few minutes so I can get something done.

The Mom guilt is just so heavy!

Pure physical and mental exhaustion, mixed with someone who can’t remember to cover their mouth when coughing in your face is a special level of irritation that only a mom can know.

So if your out there battling cold and flu season, here’s me, over in my corner waving a fresh tissue to you. At least I hope it’s fresh. It’s hard to say. My kid pulled them all out of the box the other day and I just had to roll with it.

I hope to still have my ultimate guide to being a princess in the kingdom of heaven, finished by December 1st as promised, but I can’t quite guarantee that right now, due to the reasons mentioned above.

It’s a special free gift for those who have signed up for my newsletters. I’d like to include a link, but right now that’s just too challenging. So if you want to sign up you’re going to have to check out a previous post, which was written under better circumstances and subscribe there.

God Bless You

XO

-Lily

One thought on “I don’t feel like it.

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