Dear Pastor Lily
My fiancé and I have been engaged for 6 months and the wedding is coming up soon. I’m very excited, but really nervous. Before we met, and before he knew the Lord, he had a lot of previous partners. I’m a virgin. I’m proud of myself for waiting until this special night but now I’m afraid that it’s going to be embarrassing and awkward because I won’t know what I’m doing. Got any tips to make our honeymoon special?
Every Monday I’ll be answer one question from my readers.
It can be about anything related to your relationship with God or others. I’ll do my best to share a clear thoughtful answer with action steps you can take to help improve your situation. So here we go.
Dear valued Reader,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and kudos on remaining a virgin until marriage. You’ve saved a very special gift for your husband and your marriage and that should be appreciated.
In a perfect world you and your soon to be husband would be going into the honeymoon suite with the same nervous anticipation and awkwardness. But our Lord has not yet returned so you’ll have to embrace your inexperience and enjoy the learning process.
I’m going to assume you’re marrying a good guy who is well aware of the fact that your a virgin and that he appreciates that about you. So it’s not something you need to be embarrassed about. You need to give yourself permission to be bad at it at first. That’s ok! It can be awkward and silly and fun and intimate and emotional and spiritual all at the same time. You and your husband will have many, many, opportunities to practice and improve. You and your husband will find your own rhythm.
You can also do some reading before the wedding to get yourself prepared.
The good girl’s guide to having sex is an excellent resource.
The author Sheila Gregoire says;
Whether you’re about to walk down the aisle or you’ve been married for decades, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex will lead you on a wonderful journey of discovery towards the amazing sex life God designed you for.
With humor, research, and lots of anecdotes, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how our culture’s version of sex, which concentrates on the physical above all else, makes sex shallow. God, on the other hand, intended sex to unite us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Gregoire walks through these three aspects of sex, showing how to make each amazing, and how to overcome the roadblocks in each area we often encounter.
My last word of advice is;
Don’t fake anything. Just be yourself and have fun.
If you would have answered differently I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions in the comments below.
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